


non-linear

by coreycat



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: but i might fix that in another chapter, descriptions of an unnamed depressive illness, this isn't happy yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 12:59:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15143588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coreycat/pseuds/coreycat
Summary: and it’s not sadness, not really.  just this feeling of numbness, of the world going on around him without his consent.





	non-linear

**Author's Note:**

> I’m feeling things that I don’t know how to describe, so I made Mo feel them instead.
> 
> not beta'd

morgan's been sitting in bed since he woke up, only leaving his bedroom for food or to use the restroom. it’s been days since he showered, not counting the rink. he’s been in vancouver all of one week and it’s felt like years.

and it’s not sadness, not really. just this feeling of numbness, of the world going on around him without his consent. he never agreed to be an observer and yet he’s still in bed and it’s past dinner time. he feels empty and detached from his surroundings, desperate to feel something but not having the energy to make it happen.

he went to the rink yesterday but it felt like work. skating, shooting, gliding around on the ice… that rarely feels like a task, something to be checked off the list. it’s generally something he looks forward to, along with his workouts. they clear his mind and give him something to focus on, a goal to achieve. lately, though, his skates feel as if they’re filled with concrete, his stick as if it’s made of lead. the whole process requires an effort that normally isn’t needed.

and maybe he would feel better if he got out and did things, got up and cleaned up at the very least. he knows he would. but the heaviness is still there, ever present and draining his will. 

he could see people, feed off of their energy and emotions, but that requires energy, energy that he’s currently using to just exist. people also don’t seem to understand when he gets like this. being around them is too loud, too intense, and he feels sick thinking about being in the locker room with his boys. too much. 

jake left him a voicemail a day or two ago, offering to meet up for lunch, to go see the sights and hang out. mo hasn’t gotten back to him yet. 

he will. 

eventually.


End file.
